You're on to something here, if the balance is really that lopsided. Nods/diggs from the female members could act almost as a sort of currency....

This idea is fundamentally flawed. If you allowed women to choose who they want you will end up with about 3 guys being chosen by all the women and all the other guys being completely ignored. This is why guys send so many messages in the first place. They are trying to maximise their chances of success.

tjt

That is the main problem... Guys send 100 of message do be seem.
Most girls I talk to before I put the idea up said it drove them crazy to get so many messages... and just didn't respond.

Now if girls could shop for a guy. Not all girls want the same thing. This is why the profile is important. Your profile becomes the message you send to 100 girls. This way it doesn't become invasive.

LeFou

Thank you for saying I'm on to something. I hope everyone can see that and help in shaping the idea.

I know it may not be perfect. Please help me out and hammer out the bugs.

On the other hand tjt, maybe it will encourage the guys that use the site to invest some time in their profile instead of in spamming hundreds of girls with messages. Overall I like the idea a lot.

How about combine it with letting guys in for free and making girls pay (to be able to contact the guys) ?

Hello

I'm not sure that getting girl to pay... would help the web site....
I think that sponsor could pay most of the bills with targeted adds.

Gap want an add that can be tagetted to girl from 18 to 25 tha live in city X for a publicity campane.

Bud want to show a new video add the guy from 25 to 35 just before the super bowl.

Make them interesting like on youtube.

This could also bring traffic if the adds are good.

I thought guys didn't like aggressive girls? I think making the males be totally passive is not only lame, but also totally against human nature and the hunter/player mentality. Maybe dating sites should limit male's outgoing messages and autofilter out ones for girls from excessive spammers...

Je ne cherche pas, je trouve.

I don't use dating sites but I would like some control.
Tommy

If the messaging disparity is so bad, why don't women just ignore/delete incoming messages unless they're a reply to something they sent? I don't see why you have to build the infrastructure to force that.

There is a tremendous amount of competition on dating sites and it would seem like it would be really hard to bootstrap a new one when you're only selling point is a filter on messaging.

If you don't like the system don't make a profile on the site TheGuru...

This site is offering a different perspective to the usual site... this is my angle on it.

Micco
It's a lot of message to ignore/delete.. ask any girl that's been on a traditional web dating system, what I talking about.

The strong point is not the filtering... it's the reverse concept of making the girl do the first move...

]V[oogy

my brother is on all the dating sites and he has similar sort of complaints - but I don't think your dating site will be successful if you let guys sign up for free and make the girls pay. The reason girls are free on sites now is because it's WAY harder to attract girls to the dating sites then guys. In your model, how would you solve that problem?

Christine

Where did you read in my idea that GIRLS had to pay...?
Can you show me the line??
It is free for all users... pay by sponsor traffic.

]V[oogy

PS read all ideas completely before voting or commenting, for EVERYONES ideas.

this is a crowded market good luck

Well, you are trying to shake things up and come up with a new result, that's good.

Girl has to send first message. Guy has a stable profile. That sounds good.

I don't know what the key to success in internet dating is, but I admire you for trying a new angle.

If it is too hard to set this up from scratch, I wonder if you could do some kind of venture with an existing site with an active user population, either as a test or as a long-term collaboration.

Here is a thought, deviating from your idea a bit but here goes.

Let's say that as a hidden (optional - could be visible) part of a user's profile on the dating site, they would enter links to any online communities or real world clubs they are actually already active in. The dating software would scan for matches. It would tell the woman which guys are members of her online (or real life) groups and she would then have a reason to take a second or third look at those particular guys.

I only set it up in this one-sided way because that is in keeping with the spirit of your idea.

It would be ironic if people using anonymous IDs were friends in one online community that had nothing to do with dating, and were also in an internet dating group, without knowing it.

Actually most people doing online dating are little involved in the Club scene.

But it could be interesting in linking with a real world networks.

]V[oogy

PS can any of you web guy help out in this project?

How do you plan to make money? The majority of people who sign-up for online dating sites are male. Your service acts against its main source of income. Your service is basically saying to men:

"How would you like to pay me so you can wait for someone to contact you? There is no guaranty you will be contacted, but don't you want to pay for the opportunity?"

I am not trying to be mean, but these are things you need to consider. Perhaps you can give incentives to female members so they make contact with more male members, but you will need to find a way to keep them from abusing this feature.